What Voters Want

November 7, 2005
By

Here are the three top priorities of the big voting blocks:

Conservatives – Appointing conservative Supreme Court Justices, controlling federal spending, ending illegal immigration.

Swing Voters – Reducing casualties in Iraq, lowering gas prices, improving the economy.

Liberals – Withdrawing from Iraq, pinning Katrina on Bush, shipping Tom DeLay off to Guantanamo Bay.

If you’ve been following the news over the last several months, liberals are getting everything they want, and conservatives and swing voters are growing increasingly miserable. With the exception of the occasional (non-botched) Supreme Court nomination, Republicans in Washington have let Democrats and their allies in the Lying Liberal Media control the news completely.

How can Washington Republicans bounce back from this? By giving conservatives and swing voters everything they want! For instance, use high gas prices to bludgeon Democrats as enviro-whackos. Spread the good news about the economy tirelessly, so that it gets through to apathetic swing voters. Crack down on illegal immigration and out-of-control spending.

None of this is rocket science. Republicans control all the levers of power in Washington. They should use those levers to give conservatives and swing voters what they want.

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