“Stimulus”
Mark Steyn, on where those “stimulus” trillions are going:
I was in Vermont the other day and made the mistake of picking up the local paper. Impressively, it contained a quarter-page ad, a rare sight these days. The rest of the page was made up by in-house promotions for the advertising department’s special offer on yard-sale announcements, etc. But the one real advertisement was from something called SEVCA. SEVCA is a “non-profit agency,” just like the New York Times, General Motors, and the State of California. And it stands for “South-Eastern Vermont Community Action.”
Why, they’re “community organizers,” just like the president! The designated “anti-poverty agency” is taking out quarter-page ads in every local paper is because they’re “seeking applicants for several positions funded in full or part by the American Recovery & Reinvestment Act (ARRA)” — that’s the “stimulus” to you and me. Isn’t it great to see those bazillions of stimulus dollars already out there stimulating the economy? Creating lots of new jobs at SEVCA, in order to fulfill the president’s promise to “create or keep” 2.5 million jobs. At SEVCA, he’s not just keeping all the existing ones, but creating new ones, too. Of the eight new positions advertised, the first is:
“ARRA Projects Coordinator.”
Gotcha. So the first new job created by the stimulus is a job “coordinating” other programs funded by the stimulus. What’s next?
“Grantwriter.”
That’s how they spell it. Like in Star Wars — Luke Grantwriter waving his hope saber as instructed by his mentor Obi-Bam Baracki (“May the Funds be with you!”). The Grantwriter will be responsible for writing grant applications “to augment ARRA funds.” So the second new job created by stimulus funding funds someone to petition for additional funding for projects funded by the stimulus.
The third job is a “Marketing Specialist” to increase “public awareness of ARRA-funded services.” Rural Vermont’s economy is set for a serious big-time boom: The critical stimulus-promotion industry, stimulus-coordination industry, and stimulus-supplementary-funding industry are growing at an unprecedented rate. The way things are going we’ll soon need a Stimulus-Coordination Industry Task Force and Impact Study Group. By the way, these jobs aren’t for everyone. “Knowledge of ARRA” is required. So if, say, you’re the average United States senator who voted for ARRA without bothering to read it, you’re not qualified for a job as an ARRA Grantwriter.
Subscribe to blog feed.
May 24th, 2009 at 9:13 am
A stimulus to help create the position of a worthless Paper Grantwriter….Hmmmmmmmm……
That position sounds like a title someone could write a tune to….
May 24th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Hey, looks good. Queue the tears of joy, and off to jail with the ammo-buying leeches.
May 24th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Stimulate this blog. Dump Oak Leaf
May 24th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
If Oak Leaf is so certain that the economy is roaring back, why doesn’t he head for the Street to make millions?
It’s similar to all of those scam artists trying to sell you schemes to get rich–if their scheme actually works, why aren’t they using it themselves rather than trying to get you to pay $29.99 for a CD and booklet?
May 25th, 2009 at 5:01 am
With all that is going on in the world maybe we should stop worrying about the economy and start worrying about some foreign nut jobs.
I guess the economy doesn’t matter when we are all dead.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:57 am
stimulus to help create the position of a worthless Paper Grantwriter….Hmmmmmmmm我爱皮肤